Hi Friends, 

March has been a roller coaster for me both personally and with my business. I have been hustling and busting my butt to create new opportunities for myself, including reaching out and successfully connecting with local businesses to collaborate. It has been tiring but I am so proud of the growth that I have had this year, and particularly this month, so far. I participated in two in-person events this month and have three more scheduled for April. I have partnered with another AAPI family owned business, Hashimoto Nursery, which has been in the Sawtelle Japantown neighborhood for over 80 years. It’s been an exciting month for Sakai Harts & Crafts! Unfortunately, there have been moments where I have found it difficult to be happy and excited about these new ventures because there are a lot of terrible acts of violence happening to the Asian American community right now. It is heartbreaking and difficult to read about. Some days I feel empowered to make change, others I have cried angry and sad tears on the couch at the madness of what this year has brought.

Like many of the testimonials and stories I have been reading from others in the Asian American community, many of us have experienced micro aggressions and small events like the ones I will share with you. My hope is that by sharing you might also feel less alone. To be completely honest, it took me a while to learn how to love the Asian American aspect of my identity. I kind of tried to forget I am Japanese & Chinese because it was easier to try and fly under the radar and blend in as much as possible. I want to be clear that I wasn’t necessarily repeatedly bullied but I also think it is important to not underestimate the toll comments and little jabs can take on someone over time. I am also incredibly proud of my heritage. I love my family, Asian American culture, and brown skin.

For those who are new to following me I grew up in Aptos, a small town in Santa Cruz County. I was one of very few Asian kids in school as Santa Cruz County is predominantly white. I grew up very much wanting to fit in and often wishing that I looked more like my classmates. In elementary school, I begged my mom to make me sandwiches and not send me onigiri in my lunch box so I didn’t have to answer my classmates questions. I cannot tell you how many times someone has asked me where I am from only to have them tell me, “No, where are you actually from?” when I say California. Or how many times in high school guys would speak to me in an “Asian” accent or ask me if I liked sushi. Or how many times people assumed I was good at math. Or walking across Pacific Avenue in downtown Santa Cruz with my family and being spit on, not fully understanding what had happened because I was so young. It can be hard to relive these moments because I often wish I had stood up for myself a little bit more.

This blog is also difficult to write in part because I don’t want you to feel pity for me in any way. I think that these situations and incidents are part of what have made me the strong and independent individual that I am today. What I do hope is that it makes you think a little harder about how much you can have an impact in making change if only you stand up and speak up for others in these situations. Whether the individual being affected is Asian America, Black, LQBTQIA+, or another historically marginalized individual your ability to be a true ally lies in these moments where you have the opportunity to speak up. I encourage you to do so because you never know how much of a ripple effect it may have.

One way that you can help me support anti-Asian hate crimes and violence is by helping me raise money for the Asian American Community. I will be holding a raffle next week, for the items pictured, to help raise money and awareness for the alarming increase in violent hate crimes towards Asians. Tickets will start at $5 each and any amount you can give will help. 100% of what we raise together will be donated to the AAPI Community Fund through Go Fund Me. You can read more about the participating organizations that will benefit from your contributions here. Be on the lookout for more details and how to participate next week. Thank you for taking the time to read this and choosing to support my small business.

Love, Michelle